I know I have talked about fear before, and the fact that it is the one thing that wants to shove your head under water and keep in there, while you do all you can to push up and grasp a tiny breath. In my life, i have a lot of fear. Why? I'm not entirely sure, in my honest opinion, i have beliefs but that may or may not be why.
What brings this topic up again is Zelda. Zelda has just recently been divorced from her husband of two years. Of those two years that they were married, I would say only about nine months to a year were actually spend co-habitating. They had been living together before they were married when they were both stationed in Virginia, but when the got married she was stationed here in Jax, and he was still up in VA. It is sad to say the it was doomed from the beginning.
Zelda has (in my opinion) had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that her marriage had ended or was ending. The whole time they were separated she kept wearing her ring, and she was already seeing someone else. Most people would have said that they were already divorced or separated and may or may not have worn there ring, such as she did. She has always felt throughout everything that she was still married. But that is her attitude towards her situation.
Although she has moved on and found a wonderful man who adores her and has waited for her, and would go to the ends of the earth for her, she is a little afraid. I don't blame her, I mean I would be too. As much as they both want a life together, they have spent the past six months apart. Zelda is back in Texas, and Ducky (sa copine) is in Virginia. She has gotten into a routine down there and she's afraid that everything that she felt for him might not still be there.
We had a nice long talk about that. It is a little scary when you are away from your significant other for such a long period of time, and after a while you have a routine without them, so when you think about including them in your routine again, it's a bit scary. You don't know what will happen when they are included into the routine again, but unless you let go of the tree and walk out on that limb, you'll never know what could have been. Don't let fear win! The moment it has won, it will do all it can to keep you from ever coming back up again.
I told Zelda that she should trust her feelings and not the fear. She would like to get married and have kids as much as Ducky does, but she's afraid. Mainly because of the ex-hubby. I told her to not only trust what he has said to her, look at his actions. Ducky does his best to include her into the major decisions of his life. He's currently looking for orders, and asked her where he thinks "they" should go. He want to go over seas, but she said she can't follow him overseas because they are not married yet, and she keeps putting it off.
Zelda has admitted that she's afraid, but then again I told her to think of his (Ducky's) parents, they talk to you and adore you and already consider you family. Did the ex-hubby family do that? Mmm, his brother and maybe a few others, but not his Mom. That woman, did not like Zelda at all. And when she asked his mom for help during their difficult time, she ignored her and blew her off, believing that her son would never put his hands on a woman.
Zelda thanked me for being "enlightening" I hoe she was sincere, I believer her to be but I'm unsure of most everything. Sometimes, it takes an outsider to talk to you and with you, so you can get a better perspective on how things could be. Sometimes that person winds up being one of your best friends that does what they can for you, and even if you yell at them, they are still there to back you up.
I'm not sure what Zelda will do. It breaks my heart to think she doubts what she feels. I told her that they are the perfect match for each other because they do their best to communicate and include each other in their daily lives. We both agreed that never happened with the ex. It was always what he wanted to do, and not what they wanted to do. Relationships have to be a give and take. One person can't give all and the other person can't take all. Some relationships do that, but then where do they end up?
I'm hoping that by talking to her and being their to listen as well as dish out my opinion as we have always done, that I have helped her in some way. The man she is in love with is a great big 'ol teddy bear, he was raised by some great parents, and raised by a military father, which in my opinion again, has helped shape him into the kind and generous man that he is. I consider Ducky my brother. He became part of my extended family when Zelda brought him to movie night one night, because he was the new guy in the shop. I consider him as on of the girls, and a great friend to have. I look forward to the day that he and Zelda finally get married. Once that happens, and the ducklings start to come, they will truly be the most deliriously happy people I know.
Showing posts with label Zelda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zelda. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
In a haze and funk
It has been a rough few weeks, and days. Sometimes, it seems as if the dreariness that I fell will never end and go away. Things have not been going that great for me since my stint on active duty has ended. My mood has been really somber, and very much teetering on the edge of endless tears. The frustration and the emptiness of my current predicament weighs heavy on my mind as well as shoulders.
It is not easy for someone like me that comes off active duty to come to terms with the fact that, after years of a constant motion of duty, I have to start all over again, and that means starting off at the bottom. When I entered the military eight years ago I had worked my way up from earning minimum wake of 5.50 an hour to 7.75.
Now a days the minimum wage IS what I was making then. It is hard trying to come to terms with it, as well as the pressure that comes with the searching of jobs. When you are on your way out of the military they really do not prepare you enough (in my opinion) for the obstacles that you will face, once you are on the outside. Although, I'm not sure what they could do differently to better prepare us for the outside.
It is never a fun time when the darkness begins to envelop me and threaten to take me down. A lot of times, it will take me a few days to slowly come out of it a begin to feel better. Mostly it's thanks in part to my friends and my dog that help bring me out of the haze. Mostly I make my self suffer because it is just me here. I'm not as lucky as some people that have someone to go home to.
Now that I don't have a constant day-to-day interaction with co-workers, I have a lacking of social comfort. School does not count because I only talk to them once a week. My friends have busy lives, especially Minnie. Sometimes I don't know how that girl does what she does...but somehow, she does it with grace and a warm smile. It does get very lonely not having someone to go on new adventures with. Evil twin and Zelda are in Corpus Christi, Ducky is in Virginia along with Chiana, Alex is a new mom, and doesn't share the same spirit as I do. They all have separate lives and I miss them all. These individual people became my family over the years.
Thanks to them all, I don't know where I would be without them!
It's hard to push away the darkness, especially when you are someone like me that internalizes everything. As much as I do need help, I want to be able to make it on my own. When I was growing up, I never wanted to ask for help for fear of being though of stupid. It takes a lot still for me to ask for help, mainly because as previously stated, I want to do it on my own. The thing that I have to realize is, I do need help, and there are people or a person to help...Mom. She may not be fully aware of how I feel but she does try to help me.
To those who have someone to go home to every night, that has someone to hug them at the end of the day, and tell them that everything is going to be ok. Please, be thankful, no matter what that you do have that someone there to support you. Me, I just have Daisy to go home to, and sleep with, and sometimes that just isn't enough. Everyone tells me that I'll eventually find someone, but I don't feel it.
Finding a way out of the haze is an every day battle, no matter who you are. I do my best to be an up-beat and happy person, but when the world feels like it's going to crash down around me, that's the moment that I feel despair and sink to the inside. I am my own worse enemy, I am harder on myself than other people are, and I berate myself for than anyone could imagine. To me if I do something wrong, or mess up on something it's ten times worse. No one could possibly do worse than myself.
It is never a fun spot to be in, the haze. If anyone out there goes through it if they ever need someone to talk to my inbox is always open. The dark and haze is not the place to be, I have to make myself get out more even though I'm almost afraid to.The moral of my story tonight is, it is never easy starting over. Thar's all for tonight, my darling Dizzy (Daisy) is ready to go up-stairs and go to bed, and my hip is bothering my again, so the pain is making me bid you adieu until tomorrow.
It is not easy for someone like me that comes off active duty to come to terms with the fact that, after years of a constant motion of duty, I have to start all over again, and that means starting off at the bottom. When I entered the military eight years ago I had worked my way up from earning minimum wake of 5.50 an hour to 7.75.
Now a days the minimum wage IS what I was making then. It is hard trying to come to terms with it, as well as the pressure that comes with the searching of jobs. When you are on your way out of the military they really do not prepare you enough (in my opinion) for the obstacles that you will face, once you are on the outside. Although, I'm not sure what they could do differently to better prepare us for the outside.
It is never a fun time when the darkness begins to envelop me and threaten to take me down. A lot of times, it will take me a few days to slowly come out of it a begin to feel better. Mostly it's thanks in part to my friends and my dog that help bring me out of the haze. Mostly I make my self suffer because it is just me here. I'm not as lucky as some people that have someone to go home to.
Now that I don't have a constant day-to-day interaction with co-workers, I have a lacking of social comfort. School does not count because I only talk to them once a week. My friends have busy lives, especially Minnie. Sometimes I don't know how that girl does what she does...but somehow, she does it with grace and a warm smile. It does get very lonely not having someone to go on new adventures with. Evil twin and Zelda are in Corpus Christi, Ducky is in Virginia along with Chiana, Alex is a new mom, and doesn't share the same spirit as I do. They all have separate lives and I miss them all. These individual people became my family over the years.
Thanks to them all, I don't know where I would be without them!
It's hard to push away the darkness, especially when you are someone like me that internalizes everything. As much as I do need help, I want to be able to make it on my own. When I was growing up, I never wanted to ask for help for fear of being though of stupid. It takes a lot still for me to ask for help, mainly because as previously stated, I want to do it on my own. The thing that I have to realize is, I do need help, and there are people or a person to help...Mom. She may not be fully aware of how I feel but she does try to help me.
To those who have someone to go home to every night, that has someone to hug them at the end of the day, and tell them that everything is going to be ok. Please, be thankful, no matter what that you do have that someone there to support you. Me, I just have Daisy to go home to, and sleep with, and sometimes that just isn't enough. Everyone tells me that I'll eventually find someone, but I don't feel it.
Finding a way out of the haze is an every day battle, no matter who you are. I do my best to be an up-beat and happy person, but when the world feels like it's going to crash down around me, that's the moment that I feel despair and sink to the inside. I am my own worse enemy, I am harder on myself than other people are, and I berate myself for than anyone could imagine. To me if I do something wrong, or mess up on something it's ten times worse. No one could possibly do worse than myself.
It is never a fun spot to be in, the haze. If anyone out there goes through it if they ever need someone to talk to my inbox is always open. The dark and haze is not the place to be, I have to make myself get out more even though I'm almost afraid to.The moral of my story tonight is, it is never easy starting over. Thar's all for tonight, my darling Dizzy (Daisy) is ready to go up-stairs and go to bed, and my hip is bothering my again, so the pain is making me bid you adieu until tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
At a loss
For the past few day's I've been at a loss...a loss of words, ideas, and as usual sleep. The only good thing about the past couple of days is, I got to spend some time with my good friend Zelda.
Sadly, the only reason she was in town was so that she could appear at her divorce hearing, and get her name changed without all the hassle. She also hadn't seen her soon to be ex since she left back in March. From what she told me, it was a little tense and she was a little nervous too.
I think I'm beginning to go a little stir crazy being at home so much, then again it is the end of the semester and I just want it to be over. If everything goes well I should be graduating in May. That just blows my mind, and makes me anxious at the same time. Once again, I have to do what I don't want to do...hurry up and wait. In the Navy that's what you do for every thing. Flight schedule, any meal on the boat, liberty lines to get OFF the boat, nothing but hurry and wait.
For the next 6 months or so I'm going to have a full load of classes, the one I'm not looking forward to is the cap-stone. Apparently that course is nothing but a big, long, drug out paper. I don't mind writing as long as I have a lot of info and can be opinionated about it. There is so much more that I want to do, but my University does not offer much more off the subject of aviation. I would love to study more on history, re-learn French, and dance. I miss dancing, all though I do it in all the time in my house, when no one is looking!
While Zelda was here we also went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.2 in 3D. It was an amazing movie, and very emotional. If you've read the books then you know what I'm talking about. It's strange to say that I saw the first movie at IMAX, and that's what got me started on the books. I never thought that I would get sucked into that world before I saw the movie and read the book, but I did! I love going to Harry Potter over at Islands of Adventure in Orlando. It's so neat what they did bringing the movie alive like that. So amazing!
I guess that is all for now, Dizzy is giving me that look that says lets go to bed...I just hope tonight she decides NOT to sleep at my feet under the covers after I'm completely knocked out, and after I've told her numerous times not to.
Sadly, the only reason she was in town was so that she could appear at her divorce hearing, and get her name changed without all the hassle. She also hadn't seen her soon to be ex since she left back in March. From what she told me, it was a little tense and she was a little nervous too.
I think I'm beginning to go a little stir crazy being at home so much, then again it is the end of the semester and I just want it to be over. If everything goes well I should be graduating in May. That just blows my mind, and makes me anxious at the same time. Once again, I have to do what I don't want to do...hurry up and wait. In the Navy that's what you do for every thing. Flight schedule, any meal on the boat, liberty lines to get OFF the boat, nothing but hurry and wait.
For the next 6 months or so I'm going to have a full load of classes, the one I'm not looking forward to is the cap-stone. Apparently that course is nothing but a big, long, drug out paper. I don't mind writing as long as I have a lot of info and can be opinionated about it. There is so much more that I want to do, but my University does not offer much more off the subject of aviation. I would love to study more on history, re-learn French, and dance. I miss dancing, all though I do it in all the time in my house, when no one is looking!
While Zelda was here we also went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.2 in 3D. It was an amazing movie, and very emotional. If you've read the books then you know what I'm talking about. It's strange to say that I saw the first movie at IMAX, and that's what got me started on the books. I never thought that I would get sucked into that world before I saw the movie and read the book, but I did! I love going to Harry Potter over at Islands of Adventure in Orlando. It's so neat what they did bringing the movie alive like that. So amazing!
I guess that is all for now, Dizzy is giving me that look that says lets go to bed...I just hope tonight she decides NOT to sleep at my feet under the covers after I'm completely knocked out, and after I've told her numerous times not to.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Dogs, cars and lieshes
Tonight, was one of THOSE nights. The one out of a million or so mundane nights that you've had before only this mundane night turned into something very different from what was expected.
After getting a surprise visit by one of my dear friends Zelda, we decided to go to the Dairy Queen and get a snack. She opted to take the dogs along. Since I had taken Daisy before, and I knew Minnie had done the same for Cindy, I figured why not. They would be tired by the time we got back anyway.
The walk there was uneventful, we got out ice cream and water, then we started out for home. That's when all hell broke loose so to speak.
Zelda had Cindy and I had Daisy and we were about to cross in the cross walk before the entrance to Taco Bell. That's when Cindy pulled out of he leash.
There was something in the road and Cindy jumped around it to see what it was and so did Zelda, by the time she realized that she no longer had her coller on, it was too late, Cindy was on the run.
We gave chase of Cindy, and I really thought she would stop. I figured she knew better being raised by Sarah.
She stopped for a moment in front of the boarded up Checkers, and I was only a few feet from her, and as I was about to grab her she took off.
We started running after her again, and mind you that I'm running in flip flops and Zelda's running in platforms.
There were some really nice people that tried to stop and help us corral Cindy. It almost worked, we had her blocked in by two cars, then she got through an opening...getting closer to the road...I ran after her after she got through the two cars trying to tap her in. Zelda was on the other side and I honestly thought our ordeal was almost over.
But remember, it was almost 10 o'clock at night on a Saturday on a very busy road in Jacksonville.
The next thing I know, Cindy had ran into traffic....
I heard Zelda yell for her, saw car's slamming on brakes and trying to stop, then I heard barking. I couldn't see what was happening...there were cars blocking my view, but the worse thing that could happen did happen...
She got hit by a car...then she turned around and barked at the car...like it was the cars fault for hitting her and she was showing her indignation of being hit by barking at it.
Once again she was off and running...I lost sight of her and I couldn't tell where she had gone. I didn't know if she would run back to my house or run back to her house which is in the same subdivision.
As Zelda and I are run/walking down a poorly lit road by the house, a really nice lady stopped and told us to get in...mind you I never take rides from strangers, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
She told us that she had been following Cindy and she saw two other guys running after her, so she turned around and came and picked us up.
As she turned into our Subdivision, I asked her to just drop us off at the beginning of our street, but Zelda said let's just ride around and see if we can find her. As we got a little further down the street, we could see that the two gentlemen had found her...at MY HOUSE!
When we pulled up to the house and I opened the garage door they were a little surprised to find out that she had ran all the way back to the house.
I finally had Cindy stopped we put her coller on and led her back into the house...of course saying thank you to the two gentlemen who took the time to help us.
The thing I didn't realize was that Cindy was bleeding...all over the place. Not bad, but she had cut up the pads of her paws from running on the pavement. I tried to calm her down once we got in the house but she just kept panting. Next thing you know, Zelda, Cindy and I are on our way to the Clay County Animal Emergency Room.
After a two hour visit and some powerful drugs later Cindy is on her way back to being the same 'ole pain in the rear dog...I'm just hoping that Minnie finally takes my advice and gets her a harness.
That way she can't slip out of collier and scare the hell out of anyone EVER again.
The only bad thing or hard thing was having to call Minnie and her sister to tell them what had happened. It was so hard to do, and I feel really horrible for what happened while she was here. It's safe to say I will NEVER dog sit again.
I feel awkward and a little reluctant when I talk to Minnie. This is two days after Cindy got hit by the car, and for me it's hard to face my friend. Even though she said it wasn't my fault and said I did the right thing, I feel like maybe she maybe a little mad at me. She may not say it but I feel like it's possible, even though she's an incredibly nice person, I think she's subject to the human emotion of madness.
After getting a surprise visit by one of my dear friends Zelda, we decided to go to the Dairy Queen and get a snack. She opted to take the dogs along. Since I had taken Daisy before, and I knew Minnie had done the same for Cindy, I figured why not. They would be tired by the time we got back anyway.
The walk there was uneventful, we got out ice cream and water, then we started out for home. That's when all hell broke loose so to speak.
Zelda had Cindy and I had Daisy and we were about to cross in the cross walk before the entrance to Taco Bell. That's when Cindy pulled out of he leash.
There was something in the road and Cindy jumped around it to see what it was and so did Zelda, by the time she realized that she no longer had her coller on, it was too late, Cindy was on the run.
We gave chase of Cindy, and I really thought she would stop. I figured she knew better being raised by Sarah.
She stopped for a moment in front of the boarded up Checkers, and I was only a few feet from her, and as I was about to grab her she took off.
We started running after her again, and mind you that I'm running in flip flops and Zelda's running in platforms.
There were some really nice people that tried to stop and help us corral Cindy. It almost worked, we had her blocked in by two cars, then she got through an opening...getting closer to the road...I ran after her after she got through the two cars trying to tap her in. Zelda was on the other side and I honestly thought our ordeal was almost over.
But remember, it was almost 10 o'clock at night on a Saturday on a very busy road in Jacksonville.
The next thing I know, Cindy had ran into traffic....
I heard Zelda yell for her, saw car's slamming on brakes and trying to stop, then I heard barking. I couldn't see what was happening...there were cars blocking my view, but the worse thing that could happen did happen...
She got hit by a car...then she turned around and barked at the car...like it was the cars fault for hitting her and she was showing her indignation of being hit by barking at it.
Once again she was off and running...I lost sight of her and I couldn't tell where she had gone. I didn't know if she would run back to my house or run back to her house which is in the same subdivision.
As Zelda and I are run/walking down a poorly lit road by the house, a really nice lady stopped and told us to get in...mind you I never take rides from strangers, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
She told us that she had been following Cindy and she saw two other guys running after her, so she turned around and came and picked us up.
As she turned into our Subdivision, I asked her to just drop us off at the beginning of our street, but Zelda said let's just ride around and see if we can find her. As we got a little further down the street, we could see that the two gentlemen had found her...at MY HOUSE!
When we pulled up to the house and I opened the garage door they were a little surprised to find out that she had ran all the way back to the house.
I finally had Cindy stopped we put her coller on and led her back into the house...of course saying thank you to the two gentlemen who took the time to help us.
The thing I didn't realize was that Cindy was bleeding...all over the place. Not bad, but she had cut up the pads of her paws from running on the pavement. I tried to calm her down once we got in the house but she just kept panting. Next thing you know, Zelda, Cindy and I are on our way to the Clay County Animal Emergency Room.
After a two hour visit and some powerful drugs later Cindy is on her way back to being the same 'ole pain in the rear dog...I'm just hoping that Minnie finally takes my advice and gets her a harness.
That way she can't slip out of collier and scare the hell out of anyone EVER again.
The only bad thing or hard thing was having to call Minnie and her sister to tell them what had happened. It was so hard to do, and I feel really horrible for what happened while she was here. It's safe to say I will NEVER dog sit again.
I feel awkward and a little reluctant when I talk to Minnie. This is two days after Cindy got hit by the car, and for me it's hard to face my friend. Even though she said it wasn't my fault and said I did the right thing, I feel like maybe she maybe a little mad at me. She may not say it but I feel like it's possible, even though she's an incredibly nice person, I think she's subject to the human emotion of madness.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Cianas Birthday Present
For my B-F-F Chianas birthday I knew I wanted to get her something really special and very unique to her personality.
Well, for starters she likes Skulls. She had a really cute skull sticker on the back of her car, I think it has a bow on it, can't remember. One day Zelda and I are perusing the selves of Home Depot...we like to go in there and drool and dream....n e ways back to my story.
So there I was in the middle of the LA.....oh wait wrong story, that belongs in a sea story, which I'm sure I will eventually post about, just not not. Ok, now back to my original story.
Zelda and I were walking around looking at flowers and appliances, and we passed by where they make keys and they have a bunch of different looking lanyards. I looked to see if they had a UGA one, naturally they didn't, but they had a really cute one that had skulls on it, and it was pink.
Normally, I wouldn't get her something pink, but it was cute so I got it. She loved it! I told her that it was only part one of her b-day gift. I had gotten the notion one weekend when my Bragger mom and I went to Jo Anne's Fabrics looking for something or another for her corceting project.
I saw all these really neat and colorful fabrics and I loved them all, it made me want to create something and use all the fabrics in all different colors that I saw. Then I came across some skull fabric and it was the same kind that one of my Chiefs had as a skull cap that our departed CO had hand made for him.
It was then that I decided that I could make something useful for Chiana and make it really personal and special. So today after I left my wonderful duty morning of being a janitor slash Gardener (we had to pull weeds in front of the door to the squadron) I went to Jo Anne's and picked up some fabric and when I got home I went to work on it.
Naturally it never starts off as planned and I really didn't think that it would take me all day, but always remember, measure twice, cut once. My handles wound up being too short, so I had to cut and re-do. But during my process I had to switch sewing machines twice, and broke thread and got my fabric stuck due to my thread getting stuck many, many times. Oh and not to mention I broke almost all my needles.
I say almost all my needles because as I was putting everything up I found the other needle that had fallen out of the package. I was a little perturbed because I was on the last part of sewing the bag and then my needle broke. But woo hoo! I had found one, so I talked nice to my machine all the way through out the completion of the bag, and it turned out rather nice.
Oh and did I mention, I've never made anything like that before, and I didn't even have a patter. Just looked at a bag I had and sketched out what I wanted to do and away I went.
I started my project and 1030 this morning, I finished it at 1930 this evening, didn't even feel like it was that long. But I finished and here is the finished project.
Well, for starters she likes Skulls. She had a really cute skull sticker on the back of her car, I think it has a bow on it, can't remember. One day Zelda and I are perusing the selves of Home Depot...we like to go in there and drool and dream....n e ways back to my story.
So there I was in the middle of the LA.....oh wait wrong story, that belongs in a sea story, which I'm sure I will eventually post about, just not not. Ok, now back to my original story.
Zelda and I were walking around looking at flowers and appliances, and we passed by where they make keys and they have a bunch of different looking lanyards. I looked to see if they had a UGA one, naturally they didn't, but they had a really cute one that had skulls on it, and it was pink.
Normally, I wouldn't get her something pink, but it was cute so I got it. She loved it! I told her that it was only part one of her b-day gift. I had gotten the notion one weekend when my Bragger mom and I went to Jo Anne's Fabrics looking for something or another for her corceting project.
I saw all these really neat and colorful fabrics and I loved them all, it made me want to create something and use all the fabrics in all different colors that I saw. Then I came across some skull fabric and it was the same kind that one of my Chiefs had as a skull cap that our departed CO had hand made for him.
It was then that I decided that I could make something useful for Chiana and make it really personal and special. So today after I left my wonderful duty morning of being a janitor slash Gardener (we had to pull weeds in front of the door to the squadron) I went to Jo Anne's and picked up some fabric and when I got home I went to work on it.
Naturally it never starts off as planned and I really didn't think that it would take me all day, but always remember, measure twice, cut once. My handles wound up being too short, so I had to cut and re-do. But during my process I had to switch sewing machines twice, and broke thread and got my fabric stuck due to my thread getting stuck many, many times. Oh and not to mention I broke almost all my needles.
I say almost all my needles because as I was putting everything up I found the other needle that had fallen out of the package. I was a little perturbed because I was on the last part of sewing the bag and then my needle broke. But woo hoo! I had found one, so I talked nice to my machine all the way through out the completion of the bag, and it turned out rather nice.
Oh and did I mention, I've never made anything like that before, and I didn't even have a patter. Just looked at a bag I had and sketched out what I wanted to do and away I went.
I started my project and 1030 this morning, I finished it at 1930 this evening, didn't even feel like it was that long. But I finished and here is the finished project.
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