Trying and epicly, seemingly, failing

There's a saying that goes; You try, you fail, you try again.....

Then why is it that I am seemingly failing at every turn? Is it me or is it my surroundings?

That's the question I ask myself on a daily bases...there used to be so many aspects of my job that I liked, but they have fallen by the way side recently.

There were so many good, great, and even better day's at my last command. But then again, there were bad days too. The thing is, the bad didn't out weigh the good, and everyone around there had your back no matter what. We were a family. We worked together, we lived together, we drank together, and yes, we even fought together. But that's what happens when you spend a majority of your day with the people you work with, that's the way you become.

To me, now...I work in a hostel unhealthy, chauvinistic driven environment. I have no leadership what so ever and it's very frustrating. I've been in for almost 8 years now, and this is the worst I have ever seen. You know that it's bad when the people that write you up don't have the full story, don't care if they do or don't there the buddy of your LPO, they go out and drink with them, and party with them and get away with EVERYTHING!!!

No matter how hard you try to do your job well, at some point you wind up failing.

I don't like that at all...I don't think people should aide in your failing, they should help you succeed, but they don't. I'm running on thin ice, no matter what I don't know what to do besides keep trying. The thing is, I'm tired of failing at trying. Everyone has a breaking point, and I get shoved towards mine on a daily bases.

When do you or when do I throw in the towel? When is enough, enough? Why is it that I tend to be "The one" the one who gets blamed, the one who seemingly finds herself in trouble...no matter how hard I try, I don't seem to succeed.