Wednesday, July 27, 2011


It amazes me sometime, what you can find on eBay. Lately when I can't sleep I find myself perusing the items of eBay.

I remembered a stuffed animal or a stuffed something I had as a kid, it was called a popable. It was some sort of strange looking thing, but it was cute. You could turn it into a football, a soccer ball, or a baseball. I had the one that turned into a football. I could never do it as a kid, so I always got Mom to do it for me.

I've also been able to find TON'S of different types of Barbies. I collected them for a long time, regular ones that you could take out of the box, and then the really nice ones that you were not supposed to take out of the box. I was stupid enough to take three of my "Gone With the Wind" dolls out of their box. I just wanted to touch their "real rooted" eyelashes. Scarlett's hair was gorgeous and I just wanted to feel how soft it was.

On one of my last shopping ventures I actually found the same cross-stitch book that Mom has., Although, this one is complete, it has all the patterns in there.

eBay has really exploded it seems to me. There is so much there, you can find anything from Antiques, to tutu's. Now people are even selling pointe shoes! If I needed to buy them all I would have to do is go to eBay, wouldn't need to go to a dance store of website, although I think discount dance sells them for less.

I'm tempted to sell my dolls on eBay, it's just difficult to part with them because some of them, well most of them are special to me. There's a wonderful supply of anything you could possibly think of in the world of eBay.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

An idea

I have this idea...I want to set up a web page for people like me. I'm not sure what the entire concept would be, but I want to help people.

The other day I was thinking about when I first came in, I had no idea what to expect. When I went to the ship the first time, I was very unprepared. Now that I'm out, I would also like to be able to help that have been forced out too. I'd like to help by giving them easy access to information that is hard to get, and maybe answer some questions that people didn't think to ask.

Another part of it would be, maybe sending care packages to people that are deployed, that have no family or friends to send them things, so they ask our service to help hem out, send them goodies that they can't get where they are. I always loved it when I got homemade goodies, and I just want to be able to give someone else that joy of having so eying sent to them.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The beginning

There's no real way to start from the beginning, when you don't know what the beginning is.

All my life I have been surrounded by books. My Mom had a huge book shelf that her Dad, whom the grand-kids called Papa Chet, had built. It was a massive thing, but it held so many books, inludng some of my own. My Nanny (Moms, Mom) had a lot of books too, I rember all the different kinds of books and pictures. On top she had glasses that she collected on her many cruises.

I remember when I was little when we would go to the Piggly Wiggly, they alwas had these certain Disney books, Mom would usually try and get me one that I didn't already have. When we would get home I think I couldn't wait for bed time so she would read me my new book. There's one I still remember, it's vague but it was about Cinderlla and her ugly step sister, the book was pink, with Cinderella, Anastasia, and Drucilla on the cover looking in a mirror.

When I was six I started getting two or three books a week from something called Weekly reader. Funny thing is, I toted my weekly reader bag full of books to my first UGA football game.

I guess you could say, I was destined to love books. I have two bok cases right now, and one is completely filled, and the other is getting there. Whenever I was on the boat I would go through at least two or three a month. When your on the boat, there's not that much to do at night, so I would just lie in my rack and read. Mom would usually and me two or three for me if I couldn't get access to the Internet to buy own. Sometimes after I was finished with my books I would send them back to home to Mom.

I also had accumulated a lot of books when I lived I'm the barracks. When I first got to Jacksonville I had no clue what to expect, so for the first few months I lived there I had no tv unless I went to the common room. The number one priority when I first got to jax was to find a mall so I could find a book store and an American Eagle. That's also how I discovered my love of target, I had nothing else to do and didn't really know anyone, so I would just peruse the shelves of target.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

At a loss

For the past few day's I've been at a loss...a loss of words, ideas, and as usual sleep. The only good thing about the past couple of days is, I got to spend some time with my good friend Zelda.

Sadly, the only reason she was in town was so that she could appear at her divorce hearing, and get her name changed without all the hassle. She also hadn't seen her soon to be ex since she left back in March. From what she told me, it was a little tense and she was a little nervous too.

I think I'm beginning to go a little stir crazy being at home so much, then again it is the end of the semester and I just want it to be over. If everything goes well I should be graduating in May. That just blows my mind, and makes me anxious at the same time. Once again, I have to do what I don't want to do...hurry up and wait. In the Navy that's what you do for every thing. Flight schedule, any meal on the boat, liberty lines to get OFF the boat, nothing but hurry and wait.

For the next 6 months or so I'm going to have a full load of classes, the one I'm not looking forward to is the cap-stone. Apparently that course is nothing but a big, long, drug out paper. I don't mind writing as long as I have a lot of info and can be opinionated about it. There is so much more that I want to do, but my University does not offer much more off the subject of aviation. I would love to study more on history, re-learn French, and dance. I miss dancing, all though I do it in all the time in my house, when no one is looking!

While Zelda was here we also went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.2 in 3D. It was an amazing movie, and very emotional. If you've read the books then you know what I'm talking about. It's strange to say that I saw the first movie at IMAX, and that's what got me started on the books. I never thought that I would get sucked into that world before I saw the movie and read the book, but I did! I love going to Harry Potter over at Islands of Adventure in Orlando. It's so neat what they did bringing the movie alive like that. So amazing!

I guess that is all for now, Dizzy is giving me that look that says lets go to bed...I just hope tonight she decides NOT to sleep at my feet under the covers after I'm completely knocked out, and after I've told her numerous times not to.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Running rampant

It amazes me sometimes how much the mind will wonder. Especially if you're trying to sleep and your mind will not turn off. I have this affliction...I think, and worry, and review things in my head over and over and over. It gets most annoying when I'm trying to sleep. I've been given a sleep aide but I don't like the way it makes me feel. When it does work, I feel like I might pass out any minute and not make it to bed. I'm a closet control freak, I prefer to be in control. That way I can blame myself like I normally do when something doesn't go right.

Mom says I beat myself up way to much, and I need to learn to let some things go. Easier said than done. I don't know why I'm hard on myself, I just am, guess I developed it growing up, who knows!

It is always hardest at night to turn off my brain. Most of the time it causes me to toss and turn, losing sleep at each passing minute. Usually at that point when I know it wont shut off for a while, I'll either get up and read some if I have a book, or I'll watch TV for a little while longer until I can fall asleep.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Throwback, old school style!

Ok, I'm this really big kid. I can hear my mother laughing at that staement. I am and I am not afraid to show it! Does anyone remeber the old school cartoons? Like Looney Toons, or the old Mickey Mouse cartoons?

I've only seen a small amount of Mickey Mouse and company cartoons, I've seen more Looney Toons than any thing else. I haven't seen any good cartoons as of late. The ones that they have on today do not make that much since. For some reason they are lacking in the severly funny department. I could laugh and laugh at a good Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Now a days thanks to networks like, Boomerang, Toon Disney, and Nick Toon a lot of the cartoons that we used to see all the time are out there on those networks. Only problem is, you would have to have a satlight to see them, or comcast. Then  if you do not have the package deal then you still can't see them.

I was telling this to a friend of mine the other day over dinner, ans she told me that I should check out youtube. Her and her boy-friend are always on there watching old carttons. Boy howdy was she right! I've spent the past couple of nights watching old cartoons on the phone.

It's nice to be able to see them again. Cartton network has tried revamping Bugs and Daffy, but they are just not the same as the old versions are. The drawing is just a bit off, and they are trying to make it more modern, I guess. That was the great thing about old cartoons...THEY WERE OLD! The kind of humor that is in old cartoons is absolutley brilliant! That kind of humor just doesn't exist anymore, if you ask me.

If you really like a Bugs Bunny I'm going to put a video of one his cartoons in here so you can watch if you want to! Maybe you'll get hooked on Bugs again. Enjoy!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Outlet shopping

Do you remember when you were a kid and all the places your parents dragged you to, that you despised going to? I do!

What brings this up is the fact that over the weekend I went to the St. Augustine, Premium outlets. That was the first time I had been to an outlet center since I was a kid. It seems to me that outlets are the "bees knees" these days, compared to when I was a kid.

It was usually around school time, my Mom would take me and probably my cousin to the outlets in Commerce, GA. I never liked going. To me the trip was more for my Mom, than it was for us kids. The only place that was there, that we liked was the KB toys store. I don't remember what all was there when we went besides that place, but I think there was a place where you could make your own t-shirts. You chose the color and the screen print, and they would make it for you.

I've been meaning to go to the outlet center for a while. There are a lot more stores there that I like and want to check out. A great example would be the Coach Factory outlet store. I've been wanting a really nice designer handbag. Why? I don't have a great answer other than the fact that I like them, and I'm very picky about colors and what kind of bag I like. I felt kind of awkward walking in there since I know the bags are usually a little expensive. When I walked in they were very nice and immediately handed me a 30% off coupon! Now if that doesn't say "please shop here" I don't know what does. They were very nice and helped me out when I was looking for a wristlet, which doubles as a wallet. I found out that the factory outlet only has the discounted styles...BUT I did find myself a nice bag. It's smaller than I've had in a while but it looks better when you want to dress up. Vera Bradley is nice, but it's a little to casual for some things.

My bag is really cute, it's brown with the Coach "C's" embroidered all over it. I like neutral tone bags...they tend to go with just about everything. It was originally about $173.00, but it was already on discount for $109.00 with my "today only" discount of 30% I was able to get it for only $80.00. Now THAT is what I call a bargain.

Since I couldn't find the wristlet that I wanted I went ahead and went to the Coach store over at the St. Johns Town Center, and picked up the one I wanted. Then, today I had to go to the NEX and I went over to the Coach bag section, and found my wristlet for $10.00 cheaper than what I paid at the Coach time I feel froggy, I need to go to the exchange FIRST then look at the factory outlet or even the regular store.

Another part of my outlet adventure was the Nike store. I needed some new shoes and work out clothes. They really didn't have that much to offer even if it was the outlet store. They had more at Dick's sporting goods that I liked, plus they had the shoes, but I decided I wanted to look for a bargain rather than full price. I was able to get one of the tank top style workout tops that I liked, for about $20.00 and it was originally priced at $45.00 I also got me some capri work out pants for $20.00 less than what they were at Dick's. Although the Nike outlet didn't have my shoes, I went back to Dick's and got the ones there. They were still on sale for $15.00 less than they were originally, even it was $75.00, there cute too...there PINK or magenta really and white. Somehow I've gotten into wearing pink again...I have no idea why, must be because I feel like a girl again.

When you work in a dominantly male environment and you can't do this and you can't do that, you take every opportunity when you are not working to look as smell like a girl.

Have I passed the discount (sorda) shopping bug to anyone? It's a little contagious!

Sunday, July 10, 2011


I met Chiana in 2005, she was sitting in the lobby of the barracks where we lived, waiting for a ride to the hanger. Her hair was like most coming from boot-camp; horribly chopped off. She was wearing her "Smurf suit" that is what we call our sweat suits because their blue, and you look like a smurf wearing them, and no one looks their smurfiest.

It took as awhile to become friends, mainly because we didn't surf in the same circles. Sometimes we did, and other times she hung out with the girls that she came to the command with. I'm not sure of the exact time that we actually started hanging out more. I guess maybe I started talking to her in the hanger during one of my many trips back and forth from the flight line. Back then that was a trek, our shop was located outside the hanger right next to the "active flight line" line. The bathrooms were at the entrance of the hanger, so it was a journey.

We have had some incredible journeys together. From boyfriends and babies, to different commands in different states.

I remember when she got pregnant, she was living with me at the time, and hadn't really been at the house long. When she finally told me, I didn't really know what to was not something that was planned...sometimes I still blame myself for not making her go home with me the night she got pregnant, but I was tired, she was drunk, and all I wanted to do was go home and not fight with her about going home. After I told her I supported her no matter what, she finally broke down and told me the reason she hadn't really unpacked her things was because she thought that I would kick her out and make her go back to the barracks. It seems silly now, but back then she didn't really know what I would do. One night I had made cookies, which she loved, and there were some left over for the next day. I get up in the morning and there are NO MORE COOKIES! She had a craving in the middle of the night for them so she ate them. That's why I call her Cookie Monster...she really liked chocolate-chip cookies.

We have done such crazy things like getting one of those old time photo's made in St. Augustine, on one of our many treks down there. The last time she was here we went the the Pirates museum in St. Augie. It was really neat and there was so much to read and see, it was very technological in there.

For the past couple of years she has been in Virginia. I remember when she started picking orders she wanted to stay here in Jax, but she also felt the need to go to VA and be there for her sister, who was raising a baby by herself for the most part. It's not been fun her being up there and me still being here. There are times when I want to hang out with someone, and I want her to be here talking to me and laughing with me but she can't she's in VA.

She is absolutely my bestie, with out her being here for me in those dark times, I don't know what I would've done. She has been there to boost me up when I am down, and keep my secrets. She makes me laugh and some of things she says to me just stay. I really miss having her around, before she left I was teaching her how to cook. She didn't really know then, but I hope the knows more now. It was always fun having her as a sous chef in my kitchen, she made baking and cooking that much more fun.

It is only a few more weeks until I get to see my bestie, and hopefully her boy-friend Jason. I just can't wait for the times that we get to spend more that a few hours together. Mayhem will soon ensue.

Friday, July 8, 2011


You take a picture, you look at the screen, and what do you see?

I know I don't see myself. I don't see myself in some pictures the way I see myself. It gets a little aggravating, and sometimes when their done professionally, I'm REALLY picky about how they look. If I'm not comfortable it shows in my pictures. Sometimes the one that's posing knows if the pose they are doing makes them feel like a dumb ass or not.

Everyone has image issues, some or more pronounced that others, but we all deal with some sort of image issue or another. In today's society it is a sad and common occurrence. Take for example, my evil twin, she thinks she is so hideous, fat, and pail so she constantly feels the need to tan. She is obsessed with tanning, well she's OCD as it is but that's a different story. Oh, and evil twin, she's a 5'3 roughly 130-135 lbs...that's average for her height.

There are times when I really want a candid shot of me to display but then I look at it and I cringe. It will take me several shots just to find the one that I like. Sometimes I wish society would just pull their heads out their butts and realize that not everyone is the same. We are all designed differently, it's in our DNA.

Maybe one day the first picture I take of me will be the one I think shows me the way I see myself.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

For Mom

This is for my Mom...

My Mom is a very special lady, who has by some miracle raised me. It's not to say that we haven't had out moments where we were both mad at each other, but that comes with life, and parents. For years my Mom left herself in a position of being in an unhappy marriage, one that I believe she entered into and stayed just to give me a father figure, since mine had no clue what being one meant and still doesn't really get it either, we would later find out that dude #2 was a MAJOR A HOLE.

I don't blame her, never have. I just wish she had the strength to leave sooner than we did, but she will say the exact same thing. It is my opinion, that with age comes not only wisdome but strength. Sometimes it can take a cataclysmic event to help one change their mind. My Mom has been both Mom and Dad for me, doing the best she could. She would even help me with homework albeit when I didn't ask, and didn't want help because I'd rather struggle than ask...I don't know why, still that way today though...through lot's of arguments and frustrating sobs, she helped me no matter what.

Mom still helps me out when I need it, for some strange reason I tend to call her if not every day then at least more than once, sometimes if I was bored at work I would send her multiple emails just to spell out one word, just to make her laugh and possibly improve her day. I don't know where I would be without her support. When I joined the Navy she was there, even when I blindsided her with my decsion. She has been with me every step of the way on most major decisons I've made, even when I decided to buy my house.

Theres a lot to be learned from out parents, some will teach us strength, and some may not teach us anyhting. Mom's main goal was NOT to be like her Mom. Mostly we don't know what we have learned from out parents until it's either to late, or were smart enough to stop, think, and remeber what all has been done for us. I believe my Mom learned from her Mom, what not to do. I've heard stories from my Nanny and her sister that growing up for them was not plesant, in fact one of my Aunts told me that she never remebered her Mom telling her she loved her, and she was never hugged. My Nanny remebers being six years old and her Mom sobbing into her hair as she brushed it "what did I do to deserve this?"

My mother had a very different upbringing than me too. She grew up the youngest of five kids, that's probably why she is as smart as she is, she was always there when her siblings were doing their homework. She lost one of her brothers when she was only a teenager, sometimes I think that along with Nanny's upbringing is why she is as bitter as she is these days. Then again it could be that she was in two bad marrages...why does that seem to be the family trait? Find a husband, have kids, oh wait husband's a douche, find a new Mister, then this one is a MAJOR A-HOLE, get rid of that one, THEN they find the right one. Makes me wonder sometimes.

Mom gave me all she could when I was growing up, sometimes I think I had WAY to much STUFF! I loved Barbie and stuffed animals, so naturally I had a gazillion of each. I remember before Christmas one year going into the closet in the guest bedroom looking for something, and my Barbie dream boat was in there. Mom quicley shooed me out of the room, even though I had seen the boat, it did not even register on my brain until well after Christmas was over and done.

When I was six Mom took me to my very first UGA football game. I remeber being so excited, and I wanted to see the band, so Mom and I walked over to the bridge where the bad marches in underneath for the pre-game show. Mom and I also laugh about that game because if we hadn't gone that way we would have had to walk all the way up the steps from the hedeges, verses down just a few. Lucky us!

No matter how frustated with Mom I've gotten she's always been there for me. I've done some not so nice things and hurt her feelings before, but there were times when I thought I was doing the right thing and keeping here away. We learn from our mistakes and move on. That's all you can do in life is learn from the past, just not to live in the past.

Mom was there for the dance recitles, t-ball games, and the ever embarrasing parent teacher confrences...she was never easy to deal with those days. I still do a bit of tip-toeing around my Mom, beacuse I don't want to say something to make her mad at me, and therfore never hear the end of, yes we still have those moments, there not great but it's just a part of the relationship. I wouldn't trade my Mom for anything, sometimes I really think she does to much for me, and sometimes I think she should leave me high and dry but she always says that's her job, she's a Mom.

Needless to say Mom, but thank you for everything, even if I don't say it and sometimes I take things for granted I appreciate what you do, sometimes I just wish I understood as much as you do, but that's what makes me, Me!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Food...all kinds

I bet you could guess that I like food, bit then again maybe you couldn't. Well I do, ever since I was able to be out on my own I have this liking of all different kinds of food, mainly baking but i do enjoy discovering new foods.

The further I trace my roots back, the more I discover that my Ancestors came from France. They came from the Champagne region and also what the French call, la campagne ( countryside) of Brittany. How ironic I know but that's not what I'm talking about, I really enjoy French cuisine. There is something about their food that is addictive and delectable. I love bread and the French are all about bread and wine it seems, but they have so many different types of bread and usually it's fresh from the boulangerie (bakery) there are baguette, croissants and this really hard and round type I can't remember at this time.

Usually you can get all kinds of baked goods at a boulangerie from p√Ętisserie (pastries) such as my favorite, tarts. Sad thing is I can't find anything that would remotely resemble a bakery around where I live, there are a few but none of them make fresh bread. They mostly do cakes, cookies and some will even do tartlets which are smaller versions of a tart meant for one person. I like Strawberry, and fruit tartlets, those are really good.

I like baking more than cooking. Some would ask "isn't it one in the same?" My answer would be it's the same mess wise and production wise, but in the end baking to me envolves a lot more attention to detail. It's fun to try a new recipe and try to see how it comes out, and most of you know, as well as my mom, 99% of the time it doesn't come out like the picture. Baking is an adventure as much as cooking is and I'm always trying to "up the anty" by finding new things to cook and bake.

When I was growing up my mom didn't experiment much in the kitchen, probably due to some a-holes taste buds and I'm not talking about yet current Hubby. Although he is rather set in his ways, mom grew mire as a cook with him then she ever had. Her speciality is crockpot candy, sweet and salty all in one...oh how addictive they can be! I was having a conversation with my friend quagmire one night, just talking about cooking, and food. We both love to cook it and he loves to eat it! The thing is, I have not tried or ate sOme of the things he has. Quagmire has eatin all kinds of shell fish, like oysters, mussls, clams, and crab. All I've had is shrimp, lobster tail, and oyster stew (although I think I called it horsey stew, and naturally like any kid, I ate it with catsup). My family was never a big seafood conoiseour, we grew up on grits, mashed potatoes, a steak on the grill, porkchops, and collard greens. Sometimes I swear I can still smell my Nanny cooking them, man how those things stunk up the house...I NEVER ate them, probably because they smelled bad.

Italian food is another favorite of mine, oh, how I love pasta! Although I'm beginning to think that meat in the pasta sauce maybe a Southern, or an American invention. I made pasta ( which I keep forgetting I'm NOT supposed to have/ eat a lot of) the other night, it was...ok although fire roasted tomato sauc with Cabernet Sauvignon is NOT a good combo with meat, I think it's because Cabernet Sauvignon is a red wine, and it goes better with fish. I stay far away from fish, memories of catfish from the pond when I was little, although seeing a whole fried shrimp has not turned me off shrimp. That was a Greek experience...ordered fried shrimp for lunch at this place in Greece, and we got grief shrimp all right, eyes, attenna, everything!

Now, I can't make any Italian dessert, I can however eat some terramisu. Which is the classic italian desert of lady fingers soaked in expresso, with a vanilla custard and coco power lightly sprinkled. I'm having thst in just a few days, I can not wait!

Until next time, this is my end tonight! Happy?

Sunday, July 3, 2011

"I am what I am and that's all that I am"

As I get older, I get the chance to look back and learn something else about myself and who I am as a person.

I gues you could say my favorite quote would be Popey's "I am what I am and that's all that I am." To me it says a lot and it speakes volumes, as some people would say.

I am the type of person that does not like to be put in akward situations. They make me feel very uncofortable, and that there are a million people staring at me, waiting for me to do something. When I was a junior in high school our prom was on a boat at Stone Mountain. I did not dance one dance, I did not pose for a lot of pictures (I did not have a lot of friends at that school or at that point) with people, I stayed up on the top deck of the boat for the entire night, just watching the laser show that was being put on up on the carving.

Sometimes, I think trhat the reason being was that a stupid boy I had once gone out with was there with a girl who was at one point in time, my marching buddy...

I would say hello and talk to the people that came up to the top deck, but other than that I hid from an akward situation. I didn't even dance one dance that night. My date was kind of a douche, and a dork...and not the good kind of dork that I like...he was just CREEPY.

It is easy for some people to be comfortable in their own skin...For me though? It's not...I am a very self consious person, but I have a really great personality as well as a big heart. I enjoy doing good things for people. Generally speaking, most are my friends and maybe someday they will repay the favor.

Another part of being me is embarassment, I don't like it. It goes back around to being in the spot light. Being in the spot light is NOT my idea of a good time. I don't like being the center of attention, and I don't like making mistakes either. I feel that if I make a mistake and there are witnisess to said mistake, then there will always be someone there, holding it over my head and the feeling that there are twenty thousands fingers pointing and laughing at you saying "you failed."

I get frustrated easily when I don't understand something. Most of the time it's math that is making me frustrated. I want to understand and understand clearly, I am still a little afraid of asking for help. Mom is the one that get's the phone call when I don't underswtand, and then if she doesn't understand...I'm screwed...well, not really...then I have to do my best to search through my book again, and scour the internet to find a problem similar to mine, so that I can understand.

Figuring things out on my own is a strong point. I like figuing out ways to make something work. That's how I learned to make my bags, I just looked at my other bags to get an idea of how to make it work.

I tend to explain myself to most everyone, I think Chiana and Evil twin are the only ones I don't have to, but I still feel the need on some occasions, and then I have these ladies tweeting in my ear, that they know how I work. Mighty Mouse was another I never had to explain myself to...untill the end that is, but that's another story for another day.

There is so much I want to do in this world I don't know if I will ever be able to do it all. One of my more crazier thoughts is living abroad. Either London, or Paris. Why? Because I enjoy forieghn culture.

Well I think that's enough for now, maybe more later.