Hurting of the heart and the pain of myspace

How do you go on when your heart has been broken into a million little pieces? Where do you find the strength to go on after so long? I have been in love with the most increadable man for the past five years of my life. I met him when I went out on my first six month gulf deployment. He was waiting on divorce papers, and I was just trying to get by. We began to talk to each other more and hang out on occasion and go to dinner on the mess decks. Before we knew it, we had fallen for each other, then again before we knew it the divorce papers had changed her mind, so he did the honnorable thing and tried to work things out, and stay for the sake of his son. We remained close friends and talked when we could. There was a period of absolutly no communication between us until recently, when I decided to email him just to say happy birthday. A few months after that communication between us began to increase and we were like two pees in a pod again. Talking, laughing and having a lot of fun with each other. Then finally one day he writes to tell me that he's made his desicion, he was going to get divorced. Seperate for now, then file the papers when he got back off deployment. I couldn't believe it after all the years of seeing other people and never having the same feeling that I had with him, and after him wanting to be with me for as long we were finally going to have our opportunity. Things were great for us they really were. We got to see each other for the fist time in years and it was an amazing time. Being able to be with him and fall asleep next to him, was the most amazing thing in the world to me. He had told me he wanted to marry me, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me being happy and loving me. He even called me the his future wife. Then from out of no where (or at least to me) things changed. He's telling me we weren't meant to be, that he met someone and only knew them for 25 minutes and he felt something different for them that he'd never felt for me. That hurt more than you know, more than anyone could fathom. The man you love, the one you had planned to marry telling you it's over before it's even had a chance to really bolossom. We agreed to start over and take a step back, but I didn't anticipate my words to him comming back to haunt me in the form of his friends attacking me on myspace. All of a sudden the own your friends application isn't that fun anymore becuase the man you love, his message on own your friends reads that his female friend thinks he shouldn't be owned by a crazy b****. Then today it was changed again to his female friend and her husband jumping on the band wagon of calling me that. I deleted him, and it hurt, I took his picture off my computer and it hurt worse. I don't like the way I feel at the moment, I never thought I would be attacked on myspace like that or be hurt in this way by people who don't even know me. I feel like a zombie, I'm just trying to go on day by day, all the while hurting and not understanding what happened, why after five years of wanting to be with a person you throw it away in a matter of hours for no real reason. You can say it's because I was acting like the ex or because I got mad at something stupid you did and you got mad at me for something i did. To me your friends or our friends need to stay out of our relationship and let it be just us. They shouldn't bee the big influence on what happens or what you do, they should be there to give advice and support but not to attack. I'm walking around a former version of myself. I feel numb, confused, and really hurt. I never wanted to shut him out of my life, but I think I may just have to do that. I have loved him for so long and he's be my best friend through out everything, it's going to be hard not having him again. The funniest thing is, after everything I still love him and I still miss him.